My five year old is named Jake, and he’s the coolest. He asked me to read to him from the magazine that PETA just sent me that convinced me to go vegetarian, and I did. Now he’s all about being a vegetarian with me. I didn’t even have to talk him into it!
He also realizes our current president is an idiot, which makes him smarter than said Bush. He’s kind, caring, and best of all, more intelligent than I am. I swear, people just keep getting smarter in our family. For example, my grandpa Harley was Mensa-level smart. My dad is too, as am I. Jake will outshine us all.
He is very intuitive as well. He knows when something is wrong, and will come comfort me if he can see I am upset. He really is quite the little person. It’s hard to believe his ‘dad’ is such a dumb-ass. Jake must get all his good qualities from my side 
